Before she freaks

Sung to the tune of Carrie Underwood's paen to vandalism and psycho ex girlfriends, "Before He Cheats": 

Right now, she's probably on Facebook 
postin' 'bout how she taught me a really good lesson

Right now, she's yakkin on her cellphone to her moron friend Britney
'bout how I shouldn't a' been messin' 

Right now, she's sittin' down to watch somethin' trashy 
on her parents' HBO

and she don't know --

that the local cops are on her trail
took photographs of all the details
including her name carved in my leather seats
she'll look so damn pretty in an orange jump suit
I hope she digs on that prison food
and maybe next time she'll think before she freaks

Right now, she's probably poppin open her fourth Budweiser
and she's got quite a buzz on

Right now, she's checkin' her baggie and about to make a call
to her dope dealin cousin

Right now, the deputy sheriff's pullin up
outside her crappy little mobile home

And she don't know

That the local cops are on her trail
they took photographs of all the details
including her name carved in my leather seats
she'll look so damn pretty in that orange jumpsuit
I hope she digs on that prison food
and maybe next time she'll think before freaks

I might have caused a little trouble for her cell mate
but the next time that she freaks... oh you know it won't be on me