Web Search nikon coolpix digital cameras The Miserable Annals of the Earth: And now for something completely different

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

And now for something completely different

Okay, so SuperWife had this great idea for doing another list of movies that start with each letter of the alphabet, only in this case, trying to pick all ROTTEN movies. And she did a great job, which doesn't surprise me and shouldn't surprise you.

But on her list, she mentioned that 'a few guys she knows' would have liked to see a particular film listed at her F spot, but she felt it was necessary to put that stinker of a FLINTSTONES movie in there instead.

I shan't argue with her; there are doubtless many films worse than the movie she referred to, and some of them also start with an F, no doubt.

All of which has motivated me to post my own, similar, list. A list that contains what I consider to be some truly, truly awful material. Not the worst ever, no, the hands down all time champeen Worst Movie That Ever Has, Ever Will, or Ever Could Exist, is irrefutably SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE, which SuperWife already listed. Yet, while S4:QFP is without a doubt the worst, most unthinkably horrible shitastic abomination ever captured on celluloid, it has one advantage -- nobody likes it. Nobody thinks it's great. Nobody ever puts it on their lists of Favorite Movies or The Best Movies Ever Made. And, especially, nobody, but NObody, ever calls SUPERMAN IV 'Capraesque'.

With that in mind, here is my list of Wretched, Wretched Films for each letter of the alphabet:

*A FIELD OF DREAMS film festival

*Boy, does FIELD OF DREAMS ever suck

*Cetaceans won't watch FIELD OF DREAMS because they're way smarter than we are

*Doc Nebula would happily throw a burning torch into a great big pile of kerosene drenched celluloid composed of every existing copy of FIELD OF DREAMS

*Ewwwwww, FIELD OF DREAMS

*FIELD OF DREAMS sucks sucks sucks

*Goddam FIELD OF DREAMS

*Hulk smash FIELD OF DREAMS (please, please)

*Idiots prance about ululating about how Capraesque FIELD OF DREAMS is

*Jesus Christ I can't believe what a craptastical suckapalooza FIELD OF DREAMS is

*Kill without mercy whoever first conceived the notion of filming FIELD OF DREAMS

*Lick me, FIELD OF DREAMS fans

*Mulch every existent copy of FIELD OF DREAMS, and then immerse the mulch in acid

*Nuke FIELD OF DREAMS until it glows, then piss on it in the dark

*Oh HELL no you can't ever make me watch FIELD OF DREAMS again

*Punch FIELD OF DREAMS right in the throat

*Quash resolutely any attempt to ever show FIELD OF DREAMS anywhere at any time

*Riot in the streets before watching FIELD OF DREAMS

*Say, FIELD OF DREAMS is bilious tripe

*Tomorrow, FIELD OF DREAMS will still be a shitty, shitty movie

*Under no circumstances imaginable is FIELD OF DREAMS worth watching

*Violence is never an appropriate response to anything except someone trying to make you watch FIELD OF DREAMS

*Winged monkeys attack FIELD OF DREAMS!

*X-rays reveal that the extraordinary suckitude of FIELD OF DREAMS pierces all known dimensions

*Zatanna, saying "eivom taerg a si SMAERD FO DLEIF" could still not make FIELD OF DREAMS into even a vaguely palatable movie, much less a good one

There.

Well, I feel better...

2 Comments:

At 5:23 PM , Blogger SuperWife said...

I shure do luuuuv me some Field of Dreams!!

LOL!

You are so entirely weird, but I can't help but love you!

 
At 10:12 AM , Anonymous X said...

Happy birthday, D.

 

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