Thursday, November 29, 2007

Holiday Horrors, (Part 1, maybe)

#1 in what may or may not be a continuing series of the Very Worst Things About The Christmas Season (depending on whether or not I'm near a computer when the next one manifests itself to me):

Idiot Goddam Co-Workers Who Bring Cutesy Singing Christmas Shit To Work.

There has been at least one of these annoying fucking pod people at every single place I have ever worked (at the call center in Florida, nearly my entire team was composed of these fucktards) and now I find that my latest job is no exception. I've already written about the woman in question in a previous post (she's the one who had the 'full immersion experience with the Holy Spirit') and this morning I discover that because nobody had the good sense to turn a firehose on this dim twat's parents thirty odd years prior to this, I will spend every weekday morning from now through Christmas being regaled by a dancing animatronic Santa Claus doing a lyrically mangled holiday version of "Shout".

You think you can imagine how horrible that is, but trust me when I say, you cannot.

If we had no gun control laws, people wouldn't fucking DARE inflict shit like this on the rest of us. (In addition, the people who manufacture this trash would die in a bloody hail of bullets, which would curtail manufacturing any more of such trash in the future.)

Ah, well. 29 days...

2 comments:

  1. Ah, one of the beautiful things about working from one's home. I am my own pod person. And if I want to display my singing Santa penguins that's between me and my spouse. And since the batteries have not mysteriously vanished since last Christmas, then I assume he doesn't mind.

    What annoys the hell out of me is the so-called Christmas "music" in all the stores, which started before freakin' Halloween. Let me enjoy my holidays in order, will ya?

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  2. There's something simultaneously horrifying and almost zen about the phrase "I am my own pod person". It's like being the ultimate conformist, but, you know, only to your own behaviors... huh.

    Christmas music is a blight, anyway. Lyricists seem to feel that the holiday season gives them a free pass from sucking, and, well, they're really, really wrong. I do agree, though, I'd like to see Christmas merchandise held back from public display until after Halloween and Thanksgiving.

    Still, short of some kind of Federal law (or armed vigilantism) I can't see any way to keep a struggling retailer from doing whatever they can to pad a diminishing bottom line.

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