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Saturday, March 25, 2006

Support the troops

From: sgt_rita graham
Reply-To: sgtritagraham@myway.com
Subject: From Sgt Rita Graham
To: docnebula@juno.com

Good Day,


I hope my email meets you well. I am in need of your assistance. My Name is Sgt Rita Graham , Jr. I am in the Engineering military unit here in Ba'qubah in Iraq,we have about $25 Million US dollars that we want to move out of the country. My partners and I need a good partner someone we can trust. It is oil money and legal.

But we are moving it through diplomatic means, to send it to your house directly or a bank of your choice using diplomatic courier service.The most important thing is that can we trust you? Once the funds get to you, you take your 40% out and keep our own 60%. Your own part of this deal is to find a safe Account where the funds can be transfer to. Our own part is sending it to you.If you are interested i will furnish you with more details. But the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times.


I look forward to your reply and co-operation, and I thank you in

advance as I anticipate your co-operation.You can reach me on via email : sgtritagraham@myway.com


Waiting for your urgent response.


Regards,


Sgt Rita Graham


Sometimes, there are no words that will adequately describe how badly I want to choke spammers.

Some more than others.

But I nearly have to admire the comprehensive ignorance of whoever sent this one out, who apparently does not realize how unlikely it is that anyone named 'Rita Graham' would be a 'Jr'.

I'd still choke the fucker, though, if I could get my hands on him or her.

4 Comments:

At 1:37 PM , Blogger MJ Norton said...

Heheh. Rita, Jr. Maybe this is a second generation of one of those "Boy Named Sue" stories where the first one came to a different decision than Johnny Cash's guy did?

These I find entertaining on some level, though. It's a well-worn joke structure that's Internet Classic. Sort of a long-form, Mad Libs knock-knock joke whose spaces are filled in by the zeitgeist.

It's the ones that pretend to be some critical service one must respond to in order to avoid an account shut-down, etc. that bother me. Generally they're easy to spot, too, but they've been getting more clever, as with ones I recently recieved that target ebay sellers and masquerade as buyers following up on a non-specified sale. I know what to look out for, but I could easily see how innocent people would be screwed as their accounts were hijacked.

The people who create peristent pop-up ads and data-mining programs for surreptitious installation should be publicly hung by their genitalia for extended periods. If they seem to enjoy it then we'll come up with something else.

Those who create potentially destructive worms and viruses should be drafted into military service for terms indicative of prison sentences, and prevented from rising above the lowest ranks. I had "summarily executed" in here at first, but why let them off so easily?

 
At 2:31 PM , Blogger Julia said...

I guess I'm just not that lucky. I have never gotten an email about a dead relative in Nigeria or from service women who have oil money they need help with.

Damn.

 
At 4:23 PM , Anonymous Asshole said...

Actually, I think the best thing to do with these people is recruit them into the armed services Information Warfare squadrons. Once they're there, find out if they're real hackers, or just script kiddies. The real hackers can be put to use taking out Al Quieda money networks, while the script kiddies do KP.

The ones that refuse to cooperate can always be turned over for medical experiments.

 
At 10:10 AM , Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

That's a new one. Usually I get the ones from Nigeria but my all-time favorite is the one sent by "Walt Disney's son" (he only had a daughter) who claimed to be in partnership with either IBM or Microsoft giving away free computers, money, etc. What was really sad were the many people who I consider smart forwarding these messages to me with tag lines added like, "hey, it's worth a shot!!"

Even more sad, some of these were sent to me by IBM employees.

 

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