Plastic - it's what's for dinner

Or something.

Miraclo Mike Norton has got my auctions up for me over on Ebay. It's painful to part with many of these figs, but even more painful to get eviction notices nailed to the door by husky deputy sheriffs, so, what were once vices are now cash cows... or something.

It's tough, selling off something you love and cherish, even if it is something you don't get much day to day use out of. I've never been one of these people who collects stuff that has no utility besides decoration, and due to that, I've never spent a lot of money on the kind of collectible merchandise many sink thousands of dollars into over the course of a fannish life. Whether it's an autographed basketball jersey or a wonderfully sculpted bust of Neil Gaiman's Endless, if there isn't some purpose to the item besides sitting in a display case, I've never been interested enough to get out my wallet. Yeah, I feel the tug of the fabulous sculptures, action figures, and other items I see on display at the local geek shops, sure I do. But it's a small tug, one I easily conquer by mildly interrogating myself as to exactly what I'd do with the cool classic X-Men sculptures in their blue and gold costumes once I got them home.

Nope. For me, if it isn't usable in some way, I can't see much point to it... especially at inflated collectible art prices. Oh my no.

This is why I fell so hard once my younger brother PeeBee hit me with the HeroClix hammer lo these many Christmases ago. It was just a silly little INFINITY CHALLENGE starter set; I think the most powerful figure I got out of it was a veteran Mr. Hyde... but I was lost from the second I opened it. Here were awesome little superhero figures, AND they were game pieces, too! Whoa! All that pent up yearning for cool collectibles suddenly burst free, because these collectibles were actually useful... admittedly, in an entirely geekish, completely pointless context, but, still...

So, I became a HeroClix collector and occasional player. And right from the start, I was pretty much kidding myself, because right from the start, my own innate and utterly intransigent perfectionism -- that trait that causes me to pen hundred thousand word bitch-fests about how the vampire mythology and metabolism in BUFFY and ANGEL makes no consistent sense at all -- had pretty much doomed my clix collection to pointlessness anyway, because, well, the actual RULES to the game of HeroClix don't work for me. They constrain the behavior of the figures in ways I cannot tolerate, and so, I had to create my own House Rules, which have become increasingly more complex over the years (to think, they started with a few simple refinements/limitations on Fliers and Stealth, and my, how they've grown) and since I won't play the game by any other rules, it's become nearly impossible for me to find people who will play with me.

Which means, yeah, my vast array of clix collectibles? Pretty much pointless, other than to look at, and occasionally, take down and fondle -- just as, I presume, all the other collectors of pointless memorabilia do with their own particularly pointless objects of affection.

Still, I hate to part with them. Even the ones that represent characters I normally abhor, in the comics themselves, I hate to get rid of. And the worst part is, many of my most expensive figures were gifts from my beloved SuperWife, making it especially painful to sell them off again.

But here's the deal -- I have a wife, and I have kids, and however much some people reading this are no doubt sneering derisively at the notion of me taking myself seriously as a parent, nonetheless, I am one and I have to act like one. Whether through bad luck, arbitrary management whim, or undeniable character defect, I've put my family in a precarious financial position. I'm doing my best to get us back out of it, and have hopes I'm making headway there and will have some real progress to report soon -- but the first of the month waits for no man... well, not much longer than a week or so, anyway... and I gots bills to pay. And given that it's on me that we're where we are right now, it's up to me to get this fixed.

What I'm trying to do is take the hit entirely on myself, where that's possible. When you're in a positive relationship, you can't entirely confine that stuff to yourself -- one of SuperWife's biggest stress relief valves has been buying stuff for me, specifically HeroClix, because I love them and she loves to please me, and because of me, we don't have the disposable cash right now to let her spoil me the way she likes to. And it's hurting her, and I know it is. There's a new clix expansion out right now, and a new starter set, and I badly want both, and she badly wants to buy me both, and we just can't afford it. And I'm sorry she has to take that hit, and I wish I could take it for her. And I'm also sorry she has to take the weight of watching me sell off figures she's given me, that she knows I love and cherish.

But, again -- when you're a parent, the kids have to come first. So... the auctions are up. If you're one of the five or six people still reading this blog and you want some rare out of circulation HeroClix (most of which are amazingly powerful, too), head on over and buy, buy, buy! The money goes to a good cause (food and shelter for the SuperKids) and the clix will give you endless hours of enjoyment -- or, you know, you can probably turn around and sell them again for a nice profit in six months or so.

And, once again, I must thank Mike Norton for his endless patience and willingness to help. He's gone far above and beyond the call of duty this time, and unfortunately, all I can say is, I deeply appreciate it, and hope to someday be in a position to return this and the many other favors he's done for me over the years we've been friends. Although, at this point, that would mean I'd pretty much need a Cosmic Cube, just to get even.