Off the hookYeah, okay, so apparently it's futile to even hope for comments on this blog these days. A stauncher fellow would keep on soldiering, ignoring the near infinitude of inferior blogs whose comment threads oft times stretch into three digits. A more resolute individual would reflect that SuperWife has hit a similar comments drought on her blog, and she's a better blogger than I am, that Mike Norton has lately had no one commenting on either of his blogs but me or SuperWife, and his blogs are excellent when he troubles to update them. A better man might well simply shrug and say that the act of blogging is something one does primarily for oneself, anyway, so who cares if anyone else notices?
But you come through your 46th birthday and nobody out there in the vast blogospheric echo chamber much seems to even care. You send out links to your work to other bloggers you like and your statcounter reflects that they actually showed up and checked out your blog... for all of 17 seconds. And, speaking of statcounters, yes, this blog gets very few hits, but, still, it's getting some, from some interesting places, by people who are sticking around for minutes or even hours... long enough to read stuff, but... still not bothering to leave comments.
It just makes it all seem very futile. And with the holidays coming on, and SuperWife down with some bug, and a crappy crappy job whose daily humiliations and exasperations could only be further exacerbated by their abrupt and total cessation (something I slog into work every weekday with no assurance won't occur on any given second of every minute I spend there)... you know what? I have enough shit on my plate without dealing with whoever the fuck YOU are, dropping by to read this without in any way acknowledging the time and effort it takes me to write and post it.
I'm not talking to my very few friends and family members, now. I'm talking to YOU, you gutless lurking bitch. Whoever you may be.
I may be back here sometime in 2008. Or, you know, not.
I'll see you in hell, Banzai.
As Bill Murray might say in this context: "Don't blog angry. Don't blog angry."
I'd take down the genuinely embarrassing display of petulant self pity above, but, well, then I'd lose the comments (which I appreciate), plus, well, the above is an accurate reflection of how I am, sometimes. Thankfully, not all the time, but, still, sometimes.
Self pity is never fun to look at, and it's especially stupid in me these days, given how lucky I am as regards my personal life. But... you know... we all live for attention, and I think I'm a pretty decent writer and a pretty entertaining guy, and it just aggravates the crap out of me sometimes that I can't even get an intelligent conversation going, when so many other inferior bloggers have...
Well, I said all that already.
I love my personal life, I really do. But there are so many subjects I'd like to discuss... not simply voice an opinion on, but have some sort of intelligent, or at least, interesting, discussion in regard to. I don't want to argue, I don't want to shout or scream, I don't want to hurl invective or bellow insults into the cyberwind... and I certainly don't want to have a bunch of sycophants lining up to kiss my ass, as seems to inevitably happen to any other blogger who attains the remotest scrap of real world success.
I'd just like to know there are people out there reading my stuff, and that maybe it provokes a an interesting response from them.
So, I guess I will not be stopping. But I may lay back for a while, if for no other reason than that I'm a little embarrassed at making such an ass of myself at the moment.