Christian conservatives desperately want Alito confirmed -- so much so, in fact, that they're willing to BLOW GOD!
"Say!" says a prominent conservative African American, "that's a great idea! If it gets Alito on the court, I'll BLOW GOD too!"
Yet another wealthy and conservative African American shows his support for Alito. "I'm not orally inclined," this fine fellow opines, "but God, I will manually stimulate your prostate to orgasm several times if you will only put Alito on the highest court in the land!"
"Dammit," Senator Ted Kennedy says, "I'm not gonna orally copulate God to keep Alito off the Supreme Court, that's ridiculous... the best I can do is a handjob, Lord."
The nominee himself, meanwhile, is understandably exasperated with all this foolishness. "I'm the main man here! For Christ's sake, who's gonna blow ME?"
"Uh... well, I... thanks, ma'am, but... er... anyone else...?"
"Uh... wait... um... can I maybe get one of those black guys...?"
"No need for miscegnation, Sam," the Senate Majority Leader generously volunteers. "My finely sculpted Caucasion suck hole was made to order for your pulsating pink love log... just break that bad boy out and ram it home, Goliath!"
In the end, the truly devout Christian can only stand aghast and appalled at what the Republican Party has become.
Okay, now I'm not sure I can stop giggling...
ReplyDeleteTOO MUCH INFO! It's 6 am and the mental picture of these guys engaging in oral sex has just ruined my breakfast!
ReplyDeletePlus, I also spit coffee onto my latop. (Good thing I'm Dell certified to fix these things!)
Pretty funny...but, given the givens, should have been on MY blog...
ReplyDeleteYeah, I have to say that many of these images have put me off food, etc. for a little while.
ReplyDeleteProbably what strikes be most concerns Harriet Miers. One, the shot you chose was a wonderful choice. Two, I was amazed at how quickly I'd forgotten her name, and I don't just mean the unusual spelling of her last name.
Well, actually, the TRULY devout Christian can only shake his head and sigh at all the political garbage being churned up by the media, and emphasize the phrase 'let thy Kingdom come', when reciting the Lord's Evening Prayer.
ReplyDeletePolitics and religion are a terrible mix.
That said, very funny entry, and I'm thinking you're being much too hard on yourself vis-a-vis poli-blogging.
Ha! My verification word was 'iwnpk'. In Leetspeak, that's "I own people in player versus player".
Cool.
Now I know what a guffaw sounds like.
ReplyDeleteA truly entertaining assessment of the lengths the far-right will go to for the advancement of their agenda.
Perhaps a picture of Oral Roberts would be appropriate for this post.
From their mouths to God's...
Hey! My verification was njzfw; it figures there would be jz in the middle of it.
Folks, thanks for all the very kind words in relation to this entry.
ReplyDeleteOn my picture choices -- all of this came from a Yahoo slide show regarding the Alito situation. I'd found it Friday morning, minutes before I had to leave for the bus. With SuperGirlfriend's guidance, I managed to locate the same slideshow again Friday night, after it quieted down around here. My plan had been to annotate each pic in the slide show with something humorous, but after uploading several, I started to see a particular theme across a few of them... and the rest is history.
Now to blog the horror of yesterday's Bucs game out of my system, in hopes of maybe getting a few more hours sleep afterward...
The very fact that you haven't been struck by lightning after posting this should indicate which side God (should she actually exist) is on...
ReplyDeleteScott,
ReplyDeleteI don't know. I could be getting struck by lightning constantly. Perhaps I'm just, like Captain Scarlet... INDESTRUCTIBLE!!!
But it's unlikely.
When you're right you're right, diggity.
ReplyDelete