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Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Americanism

It's been a while, so I thought I'd post another column by occasional guest blogger Ultra-American, just to see what the far right has to say about stuff:

Americanism. It’s as simple as mom’s apple pie. Do you support illegal immigrants demonstrating for their non-existent rights on American streets? If so, do you understand what the word ‘illegal’ means? They are criminals, demanding their rights. But that’s what’s so wrong with America today… criminals with rights. From dope pushers to Welfare cheats to sodomites to liberal traitors undermining our war efforts, every criminal in the U.S. thinks they have ‘rights’, and that’s all we ever hear about today… the ‘rights’ these criminals have. Freedom to run rampant in streets they have no right to even walk in daylight , freedom to subvert the decency of marriage, freedom to succor our enemies and speak out against a war time president in time of war.

Well, I and every other decent American say that’s too much freedom, and it’s un-American. Unpatriotic. It flies in the face of everything this country was founded on, the very ideals of truth, justice, and liberty for all decent, proper, right thinking Americans.


The Bill of Rights was not written by homosexuals, communists, liberals, foreigners, or traitors. It cannot therefore be presumed to apply to homosexuals, communists, liberals, foreigners, or traitors. This is the core delusion and misapprehension that liberals and other traitors and indecent sorts have, that the inalienable rights spoken of by Jefferson actually apply to them. Yes, he said “all men are created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights”, but obviously when he wrote “all men” he meant all right thinking decent heterosexual Americans who aren’t criminals or traitors to their country, and he also specifically meant good God fearing Christian Americans, since he specifically mentions God in that clause. You can’t have it both ways; if you don’t believe in the Creator, then you can’t have any inalienable rights!

I say, if illegal immigrants don’t like the conditions here in America, why did they come here? Go home. Or go to jail. But either way, don’t wave your foreign flags on our city streets and demand ‘rights’ that you haven’t earned and would only abuse anyway. And I say, if homosexuals want to get married, let them give up their godless sexual choices and have relations with members of the opposite sex! How difficult is that? And I say, if liberals don’t like the way the United States President is prosecuting the War on Terror, then they can go to Canada, or any other foreign hell hole that will take their constantly whining butts. Or, yes, they can go to jail, which is also where homosexuals should go (the only problems is, they’d enjoy it too much, with all the sodomy in there!)

Remember the good old days in America, when sodomy was a crime and Congress had a House Unamerican Activities Committee to root out traitors in our government and amongst our citizenry? Remember when Caucasians were still respected and Jesus Christ was still revered in a country founded by both? Remember when liberals wore peace symbols and had long hair and our police used tear gas and billy clubs on them and National Guardsmen shot them down in the street?

That was Americanism, the Americanism that made this nation great, that conquered the West and built the railroads and saved the world from the Nazis in World War II. And that’s the kind of Americanism we need to return to.

I say we build more prisons and fill them with sodomites, liberal traitors, and baby murdering abortion doctors. I say we give Jose Padilla some company. I say we lock all these un-American undesirables up without a warrant, without lawyers, without charges, without a trial… for those are things Americans have a right to, not non-Americans, and certainly, not unAmericans.

2 Comments:

At 6:51 AM , Blogger AaA said...

Pseudo-Christian hypocrisy always puts me in a mood...

I simultaneously want to laugh, cry, and strangle some asshole...

 
At 11:22 AM , Blogger Opus P. Penguin said...

I don't know...is it still April Fool's?

I thought I knew my American history pretty well but I don't recall the Native Americans issuing the colonists any green cards. So in effect we are a nation founded by illegal aliens...

...And how do we know all of the Founding Fathers were straight? Folks kept their breeches pretty well buttoned up back then...

 

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