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Wednesday, November 08, 2006

52 pick up


Meant to do this post today, and one on Heroes, but time has slipped away from me (mostly because I slept nearly the entire morning away). I may get to the other post tonight, or not. But, here at the halfway mark, here's a synopsis of 52 to date:


1 – * Somebody broke Ralph Dibney’s house. He doesn’t care. Sue’s still dead. * Rene Montoya is drunk as hell. * Steel is still wearing his armor. Forbids Li’l Steel to be a hero until she earns it. L’il Steel doesn’t like that. What a brat. * Booster is trying to be Superman, until he learns the future isn’t what it used to be. * Black Adam is in Kahndaq. * Sivana gets kidnapped. * The Question replaces Batman, makes first contact with Rene.

2 - * Ralph is tracking down someone who desecrated Sue’s grave. * Booster meets a severely medicated Will Magnus * Magnus talks to T.O. Morrow (what’s this about Red Inferno?) , Morrow notes that someone is rounding up mad scientists * Questions busts in on Rene w/lover, gratuitous lesbo sex! * Booster saves airliner (maybe) * Ralph meets Cassie, she tells him about this goofy Kryptonian resurrection cult *

3 – * Dead Alex Luthor * Black Adam warns Power Girl off of Kahndaq airspace, gets gifts from Intergang, including a ‘beautiful slave girl’, blows Intergang off – Terra-Man ‘likes his style’ * Steel and Li’l Steel arguing about Li’l Steel being a spoiled brat (which she is). Steel gets a call from S.T.A.R. labs, asking him to come help identify a body * Booster vs. Shockwave * Lex reveals his dead evil twin * Black Adam rips Terra-Man in two on live TV * History of the DC Universe starts as back up feature

4 - * Rene on surveillance duty * In orbit, Halo and others looking for missing heroes, find an oscillating zeta beam * Fire bitches at Booster * Question and Rene talk * Steel gets steelier * Kryptonian cult swipes Ralph’s wedding ring * Rene gets a REALLY BIG GUN * Halo beams in heroes, but they’re all fucked up *

5 – Ellen Baker won’t give up hope * Mal and Red Tornado’s body parts are fused * Animal Man, Starfire, Adam Strange marooned on paradise planet (naked Starfire! Woo hoo!). But Buddy says there’s trouble in paradise. Yow! Adam Strange is blind! *

6 – * Booster stages a battle with fake villain Manthrax. Yeah, no way that could possibly go wrong. * Hal and John run into Chinese superheroes The Great Ten, or some of them, anyway. * Someone is covertly spying on T.O. Morrow and Will Magnus. Who could it be? * Black Adam hits Hal. He’s got a mutual protection treaty with China, North Korea, and Myanmar. Oooh, Rocket Reds! Everybody goes home unhappy. * After breaking into Rip Hunter’s apparently abandoned lab, Booster discovers that time is broken, and it’s all his fault.

7 - * Suddenly, crappy art! * Animal Man, Starfire, and Adam Strange squabble about leaving paradise. * Rene feels sorry for herself on Father’s Day. Boy, the Question sure likes to sign her cast. Oooh, Kathy Kane is a dyke! * Ralph goes to see Booster. Booster’s no help. But someone is blackmailing him. Wonder who that could be? * Rene and Kathy are still in loooooooove * Uh-oh! Manthrax is blowing Booster’s cover! Ooooo, now Ralph is piling on. Bad day for Booster. * Starfire meets – Galactus! No, it’s a Sentinel! No, it’s something that just looks like a copyright violation.

8 - * Natasha’s still a brat, but she’s gonna make herself some armor. Unca John is made o’ metal. * Green Arrow stops a thief. Ralph’s visiting him. Star City’s a mess! I don’t care. * Luthor did this to Steel. Oooh, the samples blew up. Cool. * Supernova’s saving EVERYone! * Natasha’s mad. She’s gonna go get powers from Lex Luthor. Not a good plan. * Ooops. Galuctusentinel caught Starfire, Adam, and Buddy in a big net. Bummer. * Yep, Nat’s getting powers from Lex. REALLY not a good plan.

9 - * Steel’s gonna beat up Lex. Wait – Lex has superheroes! And one of them is Natasha! She’s gonna beat up Steel. Cool. * Whoops. Galactusentinel is gonna eat Adam, Starfire, and Buddy. No, wait! They escaped! * The Question tells Rene that Gotham is about to be invaded by Intergang. Batwoman is listening from the rooftops.

10 - * Black Adam meets with his allies. They’re a motley crew indeed. Say, anyone else notice that Black Adam is now the DC version of Namor? Whoops, the slave girl, whose name is Adrianna Tomaz, spit on his face. Not wise. * A powerless (and apparently retarded) Clark Kent jumps out a window to get an interview with Supernova. Great Lois Lane’s ghost! * Black Adam argues with Adrianna. She’s spunky. He likes her. * Clark and Lois at home. Supernova has disintegration beams? Who knows. * Will Magnus and T.O. Morrow chat some more. Will found a Mr. Mynde cocoon in Sivana’s lab – burst open and empty. Hmmmm… *

11 - * Ralph Dibney is jumping members of the Cult of Conner. And his storage unit has been burglarized. * Vic and Renee are meeting with Kathy Kane. Christ, she’s got huge tracts of land. No wonder Renee is smitten. Renee and Vic get into trouble with Intergang shapeshifters. Suddenly, it’s Batwoman to the rescue! * The Cult of Conner wants to resurrect Sue Dibney. *

12 - *Renee meets Captain Maggie Sawyer as she’s coming off shift. Captain Maggie Sawyer apparently goes to work in a leather miniskirt and a V neck blouse. She’s mad at Renee for messing up their Intergang sting. Vic and Renee decide to go to Kahndaq. * Black Adam takes Adrienne to the Rock of Eternity to meet Billy. Black Adam wants her to be Isis. * Cassie finds Ralph waiting in her crappy apartment. Already dressed like a street skank, she proceeds to do a very unsettling half-strip tease for him. Creepy. Ralph decides to help Cassie resurrect Sue. Can’t imagine why. * Adrianna turns into Isis. Ancient Egyptian goddesses dress like strippers, apparently. * Back up feature – origin of Wonder Woman.

13 - * Ralph and the loonies try to resurrect Sue. Green Arrow, Green Lantern, Metamorpho, and Zauriel (Zauriel?) are standing by to crash the party. * Black Adam & Isis break up a slave ring. * Back at the loonies, Ralph gives in to his friends and they break up the resurrection party. Turns out, maybe they really could have brought Sue back. The other heroes bring down the house, and a suicidal Ralph lets the debris fall on him. Somehow, though, he gets out with Sue’s battered, burned remains, but has apparently lost his mind. * Back up – origin of Elongated Man.

14 - * Rene and Vic fly to Kahndaq. They’re stunned to find it’s become a paradise. * Steel’s all depressed about Natasha going off to join Luthor’s new superteam. * G-men want Will Magnus to give them the Metal Men. He says they don’t work. Yeah, right. The G-Men threaten Will. He goes to visit T.O. Morrow at the bin. Craziness ensues. Somehow, T.O. Morrow has escaped! But he left an envelope for Will. * Rene and Vic investigate Intergang in Kahndaq. But Intergang has already slaughtered everyone. Rene and Vic are under arrest! Oops. * Will Magnus goes home and powers up Mercury. Told you the Metal Men still worked. * Back up – origin of Metamorpho

15 - * Booster battles a submarine in midtown Metropolis. I still can’t make that splash page work. * In Kahndaq, Black Adam hasn’t gotten around to prison reform. Vic and Renee are finding that out. But, suddenly, they escape! * Clark Kent wants to know what a sub is doing in midtown Manhattan. Turns out, some mythical sea beast carried it there. * Booster fights the mythical sea beast. Badly. But Supernova shows up to save the day! And then it’s Booster vs. Supernova! But the sub is going to blow up – Booster carries it high above Metropolis – and then it DOES blow up. Bye bye Booster. * back up – Origin of Steel

16 - * Black Adam and Isis have a garden. Black Adam proposes. * Renee and Vic are living in a shipping container, just like a refugee on Nar Shadaa in KOTOR II. * Mary Marvel can’t believe Isis loves Black Adam. She’s just hatin’. Captain Marvel can’t believe Black Adam is getting married. Black Adam says he just wants to make his own family, like Billy did. Awwwww. * Renee is certain Intergang is going to have a bomber in the crowd at the wedding. Something to do with rat poison. Captain Marvel, Jr. and Tawny the Talking Tiger are in charge of crowd control for the wedding. I can’t believe I just typed that sentence. Uncle Dudley is buying falafel. Or something. Ooh, they’re getting married! Renee spots the bomber. It’s a teenage girl. Renee shoots her. Later that evening, Black Adam and Isis get skippy. Oooh, Marvel babies. * Back on Paradise Planet, Starfire, Animal Man, and Adam Strange finally take off in their patched up space ship.* Backup – origin of Black Adam

17 - * FUCK! Lobo’s on the cover. * Team Luthor battles Kobra. Then they talk about it. They want code names. They want better costumes. They want a team name. Christ, they’re whiney. Lex is flirting with Natasha. Isn’t she, like, jailbait? Eliza is a druggie. Lex doesn’t like her. * In space, no one can hear you scream… at Starfire. Buddy says EMPIRE STRIKES BACK was the best STAR WARS movie. Damn straight. Adam prefers long distance relationships. Their ship sucks and they’re running out of air. Oh, and here’s Lobo! What a crappy day. Lobo wants to see Starfire’s tits. Well, get in line, pal. * Red Tornado is resting in pieces in Australia. * Back up – origin of Lobo. Excuse me while I puke and die.

18 - * At the House of Mystery, Detective Chimp and some people I don’t know show up. Someone is wearing Dr. Fate’s helmet. Whoops! He turned to dust. Bummer. * Vic and Renee are getting medals from Black Adam. Renee isn’t there. She’s coping with her grief by drinking and screwing servant girls. Vic points out the problem here is Intergang. Black Adam, Isis, Vic, and Renee are gonna stop ‘em. * Detective Chimp is talking to Ralph Dibney. Ralph is in Marseilles, and seems better now. So why did the guy wearing Dr. Fate’s helmet turn to dust? Ralph says that – wait, rewind that. Detective Chimp is a Republican? Fuckin’ dumbass monkey. I hope Lobo kills him. * Booster’s funeral. In Cincinnati. With a bunch of crappy heroes no one has ever heard of. This is the way a proud man dies. * Skeets meets Booster’s distance ancestor. New Booster Gold? * Dr Fate’s helmet is talking. It wants Ralph Dibney. Dr. Elongated Fate? * Back up – origin of the Question.

19 - * Skeets recruits a new Booster Gold. * Lobo takes the Lost In Space Three to church. Hey, he’s got the Emerald Eye! * Supernova and Wonder Girl shut down the Weather Wizard. She thinks Supernova is Superboy. It seems unlikely. * Skeets uses Daniel to scan Rip Hunter’s lab. Discovers that Rip Hunter knows something… probably, that Skeets and Booster between them are responsible for the damage to the time stream. Skeets betrays Daniel and lets him get sucked into a time vortex. I’m thinking this will eventually lead to Daniel becoming a new Booster Gold. * Back up – origin of Animal Man

20 - * Supernova’s in the Bat-Cave. He found someone’s big armored glove. He looks interested. Say, is Supernova really… the new Booster Gold? That would be cool. * Steel helps some firefighters. Geez, he’s tough now that’s he’s turned into Black Colossus. Hey, that sounds like a porn star. Dr. Kala from S.T.A.R. Labs has discovered Luthor can turn off the super powers he gives people. * Lobo and the Lost In Space Three are being menaced by a mob. But – no! Attack of the space cockroaches! Starfire uses the Emerald Eye of Ekron to turn them all into goo. But that’s bad – now Ekron knows where it is. And he wants his Eye back. * Back up – origin of Adam Strange

21 - * Natasha asks Lex to let Eliza back on the team. He says yes. Bad news for Eliza. * Ralph convinces a demonic gatekeeper to let him and the Helmet of Fate into Hell. Wait. Let me reread this… yeah, that’s what he did. He really is nuts. * Lex debuts his new Infinity Inc. I just love thinking about how all the old Infinity Inc fans are flinching when they read this issue. The new team is fighting the Hul—er, I mean, the new Blockbuster. Uh oh – looks like Lex created the new Blockbuster. And he’s about to turn Eliza’s powers off. What a fucker. * The Teen Titans? Who the fukk is Power Boy? Little Barda? Hot Spot? Whoops. Lex jacks up Blockbuster’s power, and he escapes. Eliza goes after him. Lex turns off her powers, and Blockbuster kills her. “Contact the first alternate in the female Caucasian candidates list”? Figures Lex would play the demographics. * Steel tries to tell Nat at the funeral that Lex can turn off their super powers. She won’t listen. But the Titans will – what’s left of them, after Power Boy, Little Barda, and Hot Spot all take off. Zatara and Raven are doing the wild thing? * Some guy in Australia has welded up a new body for Red Tornado. Thank God I’m reading Justice League or I’d be worried about this shit. * No back up!

22 - * Lex discovers Supernova is really Superboy. But – he isn’t! But Supernova is floating right outside his office! Lex thinks he’s really Superman. But we know he can’t be. Unless he’s a Superman robot. * Lex can’t use his process to give himself super powers. Bummer. * Jon Standing Bear throws some perv out a bus window. The redhead he helped is probably going to join Infinity Inc. * Jon Standing Bear goes to his father’s funeral. His crotchety old grandfather reveals a family secret – the Manitou Stone! The secret of Super-Chief’s power. I’m still fucking astounded DC actually even admitted Super-Chief ever existed, in continuity. And now they’re giving us a new one? This is so cool. * Jon Standing Bear smothers his grampa with a pillow. He’ll make a GREAT Modern Age hero. * Somebody named Ferry confronts Lex Luthor, saying Luthor can turn the superpowers off. The cops throw him out. But Steel believes him. * Will Magnus hears from his big brother David that something called ‘SHADE’ is coming after him. Then he’s attacked by – the New Metal Men! * Back up – Origin of Hal Jordan

23 - * Will Magnus wakes up in The Villag – er, on Oolong Island, with a lot of other crazy super scientists. T.O. Morrow greets him. * Intergang has turned into a freaky religious cult. Vic and Renee arrive just in time to see Isis’ brother crippled for life. They get into a big fight. Vic steals Intergang’s Unholy Book. Black Adam and Isis show up. Isis can’t heal Amon’s wounds. Black Adam turns him into Black Adam, J – er, Osiris. They decide to go to China. * Back up – origin of Wildcat.

24 - * Elliot Maggin is Oliver Queen’s campaign manager. Heh. * The new JLA calls Green Arrow and offers him membership. They’re a buncha hosers – Firestorm, Firehawk, Super-Chief, Bullet-broad… Bulleteer, excuse me… and – jesus – Ambush Bug. Keith Giffen can never fully answer for his crimes against comics, but I wish someone would make him try. * J’onn J’onnz has been busy trying to get Checkmate shut down. Didn’t work. Good thing, too. Greg Rucka rocks. Hey, are all those statues dead Justice Leaguers? I don’t know who hardly any of them are. Isn’t the pterodactyl boy from WILD CARDS? Is somebody making a funny? * Black Adam and Isis are pissing off China. Black Adam has gone soft. Osiris is bored with politics. * The new JLA goes into action. Baaaaaad plan. Jesus, would someone just kill Ambush Bug already? Wow, a bunch of really crappy superheroes showed up. And Skeets has gone psycho! Whoops. Loser heroes are dying right left and sideways. It’s like Infinite Crisis all over again. Okay, Skeets killed Super-Chief. In the Happy Hunting Grounds, the original Super Chief is teaching Ralph Dibney a lesson he so richly deserves. * Amanda Waller doesn’t believe Black Adam has gone soft. She’s setting up Atom Smasher to lead a team back into Kahndaq. Seems like a bad plan…* Back up – origin of Booster Gold.

25 - * Bruno Mannheim is taking over Gotham. He’s all about the Crime Bible. And killing crime bosses who don’t do what he says. And eating them. Toto, I don’t think we’re in the Silver Age any more. Hey, that’s the Kingpin at the big table with the other Gotham Bosses. Ha ha. ‘s’ funny. * Sabaac is attacking trick or treaters! But the Marvel Family will kick his ass. The Black Marvels, too. * Ralph and the Helmet are still touring Hell. He sees Felix Faust. Felix has looked better. * Icicle and Tigress are robbing a bank. The new Infinity Inc is on the case. Yep, there’s the redhead from the bus. * Alan Scott talks to Mr. Terrific about joining Checkmate. * Hey, DC has their own MODOK! Geez, he’s even uglier than MODOK. That’s hard to believe. He’s like, what if Humpty Dumpty and MODOK had a kid. Gross. He’s invented something called the Four Horseman for Intergang. * Backup – origin of Nightwing.

26 - * Black Adam and Isis fly Renee and Vic up into the Himalayas to meet Tot and Richard Dragon. * Jack Ryder has a show called “You Are Wrong!” Steel and Natasha are on it. They argue. * The Sivanas are getting up to shit again. Say, who’s in the time vortex? Is it… the new Booster Gold? But wait! The Black Marvels have come to dinner. Venus Sivana wants their help finding her husband. * Back on Oolong Island, everyone is still crazy as hell except for Will Magnus. Hey, it’s Veronica Cale! So when does Ozymandius put everyone on a freighter and blow them up? * Back at the Sivana’s, an experimental sentient humanoid crocodile escapes. Osiris befriends it. Awww, now the Black Marvel Family has their own talking animal buddy. * Back up – origin of Hawkman & Hawkgirl

Unanswered questions and unresolved plot points to date:

what’s this about Red Inferno?

Did Booster save that airliner or not?

What happened to Mal?

What’s up with Mr. Mynde?

What was in the envelope T.O. Morrow left for Will Magnus?

Predictions:

Supernova is actually that new Booster Gold guy. Or someone from the future who isn’t supposed to be in the past.

Lex Luthor ends up with the Manitou Stone.

4 Comments:

At 11:58 AM , Anonymous Always Esteemed Scott said...

* Bruno Mannheim is taking over Gotham. He’s all about the Crime Bible. And killing crime bosses who don’t do what he says. And eating them. Toto, I don’t think we’re in the Silver Age any more.

Yechh.
Sigh. I miss the Silver Age.

Questions busts in on Rene w/lover, gratuitous lesbo sex!

naked Starfire! Woo hoo!

On the other hand...

Is this a recommendation, or not? I can't tell. :)

 
At 2:49 PM , Blogger Highlander said...

I miss the Silver Age, too. Although there's always something to be said for breaking barriers and transgressing taboos.

As to whether or not gratuitous lezbo sex and naked Starfire is a recommendation, well, that's entirely subjective. I just report the news.

 
At 7:48 AM , Blogger SuperFiancee said...

Nice tap-dancing, Babe. Really. Can you twirl that cane whilst you whistle, too?...;)

 
At 8:07 AM , Blogger Highlander said...

NO tap dancing. I tap danceth not. I merely report on what I see. ;)

 

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