Friday, December 15, 2006

Follow up

I've already let enough venomous, vindictive, agenda driven, entirely personal (and, frankly, no little deranged) bile distract from the substance of my previous post and its comment threads, so I'm going to put this up as a separate entry:

HoosierGirl5 has left a new comment on your post "She ain't heavy":

Oh my God, are you full of yourself?! You criticize ME for posting anonymously when you yourself bragged at how you have to come up with different names just to get some attention, because if they knew it was YOU, they wouldn't respond? My, aren't you smart to have a tracker?! I have one, too, and I know how often YOU lurk on MY page, even though you continue to deny it to the woman you live with.

You, who fill page after page of insults for those I love? You have decided you know so much about me, when we have not exchanged more than 10 words?

And yes, I am PAID to teach children, because I'm damn good at it. At least I bothered to get an education and pursue a career, instead of living off my significant other and her children's child support! At least I can support MY family. I wouldn't want 3 particular children I care about to read all the crap YOU hang out on the Internet. And all the JUNK you waste your money on? What a guy!

Why should this time of year be any different for YOU? You have said, quite proudly, that you don't believe in anything. What a role model!

Get a grip and spend all the long-winded energy on yourself. It is totally wasted on all the garbage you spew on the Internet.

Merry Christmas! (sweet smile)

That I'm posting this at all... well, I guess it's just so that whoever reads my blog can see it, and see for themselves what SuperFiancee and I deal with far too much of the time. I'm not going to comment on the substance, such as it is, of the follow up itself, other than to note my own belief that much of the hostility and vitriol spewed above does not actually originate with the poster; I think it's pretty much the straight party line on Everything That's Wrong With Highlander, sourcing from the person the poster is currently dating, who happens to be SuperFiancee's ex husband, who, you know, happens to despise me.

However, regardless of who actually originated the sentiments, this post makes it clear exactly what standards this person uses to judge me, and presumably other people, with: what kind of college degree they have. How much money they make. Their religious beliefs (or lack thereof). The hobbies they choose to spend whatever money they may have left over, after paying the bills and supporting their family, on.

These are the things she feels qualify one (or not) as, in her phrase, 'a role model'.

These are the values she models for her children and her students. This is the behavior she seems to be proud of. It's doubtless what makes her DAMN good at being a teacher.

This is what my future step kids are exposed to, one week and one weekend a month.

Oh, wait, I do want to add one more specific comment: I do not have any idea what she is seeing on her particular stats tracker that causes her to think I have been lurking on her blog, but, straight up -- I have not. I have no interest in her, or in her life, and would live just as long and die just as happy if I never had any interaction with her again. In fact, that's pretty much all I want from her -- for her to go the fuck away and leave me, and the people I love, alone. She won't do it -- apparently, she can't do it, for some reason, she desperately requires my and/or SuperFiancee's attention on at least a semi-regular basis -- and, well... well. Never mind. I'm just not going to go there, I've said all I need to say on the unfortunate subject of this deeply unpleasant, miserably unhappy, fundamentally self loathing person in the comment threads on the post below this, and I will leave it at that.

But -- I ain't been on her blog since back in the days when she was still pretending to be Carmichael, and trying to convince SuperFiancee and I that she was somebody other than the person we knew her to be. And even then, I think I may have gone there once, shuddered, and moved on.

One more thing, and I've mentioned this before, but I will take the opportunity to mention it again -- anonymous commenters are not necessarily vicious, cowardly, self serving, self hating turds, but that's generally going to be the presumption I have when I see such a comment come up for approval in a thread. So, if you're reading this, and inclined to comment anonymously, please understand you are setting the bar a bit higher for yourself than you would be if you were willing to let me know who you are.



  1. I generally try not to pour gasoline on these things, but am compelled to point out (because of the sheer number of gross inaccuracies) that:

    (a) You spend a tenth (or less) of the money that my ex-husband spent on extraneous bullshit (of which some was of a disctinctly similar nature), so to see someone comment on that regarding what my kids are being "exposed to", is comical to those of us (and by that I mean me and the girls) who have experienced both. And, of course, you spend considerably less on dope than he did when he had no compunction about that, simultaneously. Though...the first time you come to talk to me about spending $1000 (that we don't have) on a comic book con, it won't go as well for you as any of the NUMEROUS times I've deal with this stuff in the past.

    (b) If you are undereducated, she has made some serious exception for my ex then. As he has far less education than you do. And, as for pursuing a career, he did so at my urging and with my financial backing, as I helped support him while he went to school. Otherwise, he'd likely still be mixing clay at a pottery shop like he was when I met him. He, at that time, had dropped out of high school. I am the one who pushed him to get that finished and to go to trade school. But I didn't judge him for being an uneducated pothead working a deadend job and having no vehicle. I helped him find what he wanted to do and then I helped him get there. Driving him home from work many, many times during those years. Ironic, that these people mock you for these same least it is to me.

    (c) For the record, (and I realize it's no one else's business, dear) Highlander makes an adequate living to support himself in a comfortable lifestyle. I do not support him financially either with my own salary, or the money that the court system had to force my ex-husband to pay to support his children. Highlander, if he did not feel obligated to me and the children, would certainly have a great deal more available funds to spend on the things that he would like to spend them on. That he, instead, chose to spend his money on a vacation to Florida for our entire family (I did not contribule so much as a nickel to this fund), has helped pay my mounting legal bills associated with custody issues (which, obviously, are not his responsibility), and is currently repaying a loan to my parents for a very expensive car repair, would show any reasonable person which of us is taking financial advantage of the other. This, of course, does not include all the times he has taken us out to dinner, to movies, or paid other expenses that should not have been his to bear. Highlander is a good and decent man who loves and respects me and the girls, and has made my life, and the lives of my children, much better than they were in the past.

    (d) You and I (and everyone sane who reads this blog) knows that you believe in things. In fact, you've done entire essays outlining your beliefs. But, even if you didn't believe in "anything" (which is a ludicrous statement to make about anyone), you don't have to be Christian to be a role model. The hypocrisy is sickening. It really is. Especially, when people who purport themselves to be Christians treat other people the way they continue to feel justified in doing.

    (e) I do not question, in the least, your statement that you don't visit her blog. We've discussed it, at great length, when we both decided that we would respect them and afford them their privacy, even if they were unable be good Christians and return the gesture. When she last accused you of this, I went as far as questioning the children, thinking that, perhaps, THEY were reading her blog and that the url address would give the impression that it was us. They have denied it. Without knowing what tracking information she has, it's impossible to know why she believes what she does. But, I have no doubt, given our numerous discussions about the issue, that she is, somehow, in error. My honest opinion is that she KNOWS you're not reading her blog and that's why she has to come to yours, mine, or email, to get "satisfaction" when she feels she (or her boyfriend) have been victimized...though the post she commented on had nothing to do with either of them. They know we're not reading their insults and that just makes them madder. So, those with no impulse control have to come to us to make sure we know they're upset. I think saying that she knows you're lurking on her blog gives her some kind of "excuse" to come here and flame.

    I know, I know, I've given too much time and breath to this subject. Delete this if you want. I realize giving trolls attention is a bad, bad thing to do.

  2. Get a grip and spend all the long-winded energy on yourself. It is totally wasted on all the garbage you spew on the Internet.
    Well, it's certainly wasted on HossierGirl. Nothing short of a transorbital will change her mind about anything. Sadly, it's oft been my experience that self-professed 'Christians' are some of the most intolerant, close-minded bigots this side of... well, reality in general.

    I feel very sorry for you, SF, and the SKs that you are all inextricably intertwined in the life of HoosierGirl for the forseeable future. If there weren't children involved, I'd say good riddance and she and pothead deserved each other, but alas, there are children involved.

  3. Thanks, guys, for the support.

    Beyond that... well... there seems little to say that hasn't already been said. To me, HoosierGirl's follow up post... and her original comment... speak volumes, and I'll just leave it at that... but I'm deeply touched and moved by you guys words.


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