Friday, December 08, 2006

My unsung genius

So, after a mad blitzkrieg of shameless self plugging yesterday and today, I really wore out my welcome at Sadly, No!. I mean, to the point where no one was even acknowledging my posts any more. Not even a 'heh, indeed'. I was like, all woebegone and shit.

But I like the Sadly, No! threads, and hate being ignored, and really felt I still had so much to offer. So, under the pseudonym "Goober", I posted the following earlier this afternoon:

ANNIEANGEL: Ah ha ha ha ha ha! ::cackle::

BRAD: WTF?

GAVIN: Pipe down, Calo Nord is almost down, I’ve got… dammit!

RETARDO: Should have thrown all your grenades at him first.

GAVIN: I know that NOW…

ANNIEANGEL: Hey, I’m cackling over here.

GAVIN: Oh, you’re kidding. My last save is way back on Telos?

RETARDO: Grenades, man.

BRAD: I beat Calo Nord on Telos. You know that first time you meet him in the bar? I beat him.

GAVIN: It’s impossible to beat him on Telos in the bar.

RETARDO: Not if you throw all your grenades at him…

ANNIEANGEL: Hey! Dummies! Over here! ::lifts tank top::

GAVIN: They won’t let you throw any grenades! It’s impossible! He counts to three and if you’re still in his face he just kills you! The game won’t give you a chance to do anything!

BRAD: You are looking at the only man who ever beat Calo Nord on Telos.

GAVIN: It’s impossible! How could you do that?

RETARDO: He reprogrammed the code to let him throw all his grenades.

GAVIN: You WHAT?

KIRK’S PROBABLY GAY SON: He cheated!

ANNIEANGEL: Where did HE come from?

RETARDO/BRAD/GAVIN: Star Trek 2.

GAVIN: So… you’ve never truly faced death.

BRAD: I’ve cheated death. I’ve taunted… wait. Which one of us is Spock in this thing?

RETARDO: Spock’s in orbit, dude. ‘If we go by the book, hours would seem like days’. Remember?

BRAD: Riiiiiiight. A frickin’ coded message that Gilligan and the Skipper would have seen through, but Khan, with his superior intellect, was totally snowed.

KIRK’S PROBABLY GAY SON: Hey, I’m not gay. This kind of hairstyle was in back in the 80s. Check out the Hooters “All You Zombies” video sometime.

ANNIEANGEL: I’m just going to leave.

RETARDO: I’m Chekov! “He put CREE-churs in our BODees, Keptin.”

BRAD: Hey, Annie’s leaving.

GAVIN: Never mind. Reprogram this thing so I can beat Calo Nord in the bar.

BRAD: Admiral? Admiral? ::whispering:: Admiral?

RETARDO: Oh, man, don’t even start with the Melville.


And they loved me! Well, they loved "Goober", anyway. I mean, look at the way the raves just rolled in:

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Kathleen said,

December 9, 2006 at 1:50

Goober, that was teh awesome.

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Highlander said,

December 9, 2006 at 1:56

BRAD: Riiiiiiight. A frickin’ coded message that Gilligan and the Skipper would have seen through, but Khan, with his superior intellect, was totally snowed.

Heh. Indeed.

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Jillian said,

December 9, 2006 at 2:52

Goober needs to win an award.

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Snowwy said,

December 9, 2006 at 3:03

Goober for the win!

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TC said,

December 9, 2006 at 3:10

And Goober didn’t even need a lickspittle sockpuppet to make it work.

Well played, sir!

Now fix the the tags and you OWN this joint.

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Smiling Mortician said,

December 9, 2006 at 3:13

Um, could Goober also maybe make the preview button come back? I mean, if he’s The One and all.


I mean, suddenly I feel like Sally Field. Except, you know, it's sad that they only really like me when they don't know who I am.

As nobody from a site as cool as Sadly No undeniably is would ever come over here, I'm sure my secret is safe with all of you.

Addendum: Oh, yeah... Notice how I cleverly inserted a comment on my own comment from one of my known pseuds, to throw suspicious minds off the scent? Verisimilitude, thy name is Highlander/Handsome/Doc Nebula. ::snickering like Muttley::

Another Addendum: I really have to wonder, though, if anyone else actually understood that whole thing. If so, holy shit, a great many people need to get lives as badly as I do, or worse. I didn't think that was possible.

3 comments:

  1. As nobody from a site as cool as Sadly No undeniably is would ever come over here, I'm sure my secret is safe with all of you.

    Busted1!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Curses! Foiled again!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow. You got layers and layers of geek there.

    It would take an army of chimpanzee nerds typing away at a billion keyboards to make sense of it all.

    Bravo.

    ReplyDelete

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