Web Search nikon coolpix digital cameras The Miserable Annals of the Earth: I got yer dynasty... danglin

Monday, February 04, 2008

I got yer dynasty... danglin

Goddam you people.

GODDAM YOU PEOPLE.

Don't you understand? DON'T YOU -- UNDERSTAND?

Don't you -- SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE???

It was supposed to be perfect. PERFECT. Comprende perfecto? It means flawless. WITHOUT FLAW, FELLA ME LAD. That's what it was going to be. The perfect season. How much perfection do you get a chance to see in one mortal lifetime, there, buckaroo? That's right. Not too fucking much, skippy. Not too fucking much at all.

The Patriots have won three Super Bowls in the 21st Century, they are a dynasty, they are not in any way to be resisted or humbled, this is clearly God's will. GOD'S WILL, BITCHEZ.

They were 18-0. EIGHTEEN MOTHERFUCKING ZERO. Do you get that? Do you understand the grandeur? The glory? Can you grasp that in your tiny, tiny little minds?

The Patriots earned that fourth Super Bowl ring. They earned it the hard way, on the scattered football turfs of America, running up the score against every opponent that gave them an opportunity to do so. They worked for it, they put in the time. They were entitled to that Super Bowl victory by every moral law of God and man.

There should have been an exception made. There should have been a special ruling. THE TITLE SHOULD HAVE BEEN AWARDED BY ACCLAMATION. GODDAMIT. THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE EVEN HAD TO PLAY IN THAT GAME LAST NIGHT.

You people look at Tom Brady's pissy little scowl all game long and you say "Ohhhh Tom BRA-dy you big BA-by". Well, FUCK you. Tom Brady is a GOD. EIGHTEEN-ZERO, BITCHEZ. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE EVEN HAD TO PLAY THAT GAME.

Goddamit. GODDAMIT!!!! Tom Brady has supermodels to impregnate. Can't you get that? Can't you understand? He should not have been forced to play that game! It was wrong to make him show up there. It. Was. WRONG. Can't you get that? Can't you see how selfish you are?

And then you people look at how Bill Belichick ran off the field to pout and cry like a little girl after the Patriots had one of the most spectacular last minute meltdowns in the history of competitive sports and you say "Ohhhh Bill Belichick POOR sport POOR sport". Well, FUCK you. FUCK -- YOU!!!!! Bill Belichick is a DEITY. An 18-0 DEITY!!!! Sure he cheated but SO WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE DOES TOO OR THEY WOULD IF THEY GOT THE CHANCE AND HE SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE HAD TO PLAY THAT GAME!!!!

Shouldn't.
Even. Have. Had. To. PLAY.


You know the world championship title should have been awarded to the Patriots by acclamation. You KNOW it. In your heart, deep down inside, where we all know the true things are truly true... you know it.

The Patriots deserved it. They DESERVED it, you COCKSUCKERS!!!!

You want to talk about poor sportsmanship? How about the Giants? Why isn't anybody talking about THEIR poor sportsmanship? They should have just conceded BEFORE THE GAME. They OWED IT TO THE PATRIOTS.

If they'd been men... men of HONOR... they would have done it. Sincerely. Magnanimously. Humbly. They should have called a press conference and announced to the world "We understand the New England Patriots are the greatest football team, nay, True Believer, the greatest group of professional athletes, no, more than that, THE GREATEST HUMAN BEINGS WHO HAVE EVER LIVED SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME. They should not even have to play in this final, meaningless game to be acclaimed as what they already are, THE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD. We humbly, willingly, enthusiastically concede the game to them."

And if they couldn't do that, if they didn't have the character to do that, then they should have played worse.

A lot worse.

Out of RESPECT, bitchez.

Respect for the Brady.

Respect for the Bill.

Respect for the people of Boston, and New England.

Respect for AMERICA, by the motherfucking jesus.

Goddam you people. Don't you... can't you... you can't... you mustn't... you're... it's... no!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

...

...you've ruined it.

You've ruined everything.

Expecting an 18-0 team to actually PLAY IN THE SUPER BOWL.

It is SOOOOOO WRONG.

Motherfuckers.

I'm sorry, I have to run into the locker room now.

* * *

UPDATE:

With the stunning verbal power of a 'roid enraged wolverine, with sheer poetic articulation that would put any authentic frontier gibberish to shame, with the awesome eloquence of some unbridled natural cataclysm like a tsunami or a Force Fifteen Typhoon (!!!!!!) this Patriots fan says it for all of us, better than any of us:

Hello, my name is JoAnne and I live in Chicago, IL. I just would like to say that the New England Patriots were cheated throughout the entire game by the referees. There were numerous penalties that were not called on the New York Giants and it was very clear to see on the replays. I have never seen a game where there were no penalties called when they were made. I really think that the New England Patriots should have had a better chance or FAIR chance at winning tonight's game. But that's okay, they had a perfect record all season and they will be back next season with avenges. Even though they may have lost the Superbowl game, they still went out of the season on top!!!

jojobellhill posted on Monday, Feb 4, 2008 12:16 am EST


That's right, JoAnne who lives in Chicago, IL. The Pats will be back -- next season -- with avenges.

Laugh while you can, monkey boys.

1 Comments:

At 5:08 PM , Blogger SuperWife said...

Hmmm, let me think, just off the top of my head...and likely not in order...and me no genuine football fan...I recall a face-mask call against the Giants (that was clearly accidental, btw), a call for too many players on the field (in an instance where the extra player was leaping to get off the field before the Patriots snapped the ball), and a first quarter call of pass interference. All were accompanied by penalties.

Consequently, I'm not sure if JoAnne was hitting the restroom during those plays or just doesn't really count them.

Now, a few things that may have legitimately affected the game are:

* The INCREDIBLE Giants defense!!
* Bill Bellichick's pissy attitude and poor decision not to attempt a field goal at 49 yards instead of punting away.
* The fumble call that Bellichick didn't challenge, which put the ball back into the Giants' hands.
* The effect of having Peyton Manning mind-controlling Eli...okay, that one may not be exactly legitimate...
* Luck. Plain ol' good luck. Both teams worked hard. Both teams played well. Both teams made HUGE plays and both teams made heart-wrenching mistakes.

To say that the Giants won because the ref's weren't calling any penalties against them is not only untrue...it's unfair. Give 'em their due. They deserve it.

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home