Avast, ye hoopleheads


According to SuperFiancee's blog, it's Talk Like A Pirate Day. Fair enough, and I'll admit, it sounds cool.

But, when I start following links, well, there's this, in which... um... parents who certainly have a different attitude towards parenting than most parents do, including me and SuperFiancee, teach their kids to live wild and free and be completely unemployable when they grow up, and they enjoy doing that so much that they go on TV to do it to other kids, too.

And then there's this, where a couple of guys try very very hard to write like Dave Barry would write, if Dave Barry were going to encourage people to act like members of ocean-going motorcycle gangs who actually live on dry land and don't own motorcycles, or, you know, belong to gangs. Which to the best of my knowledge Dave Barry has never done. But, still, these guys try their best.

And then there's this, which is just frickin' sad.

You may think I'm being too harsh. Reflect for just a moment on how you might respond to Talk Like A Pirate Day, with all the attendant above linked idiocy, if we change one tiny word and make it, instead, Talk Like A Klingon Day. And then ponder the fact that there are probably a million people out there across this fair globe who, if someone were to suggest Talk Like A Klingon Day to them, would rise up as one, shaking their fists in the air and screaming "Gy'luukka Sn'aart!", or some fucking thing, in a united cry that would make the welkins ring like thunder, assuming thunder were actually speaking some idiotic made up phrase that probably translates to "Our fists to the sky! Our brains in our asses!" or something like that. And then understand that while, yes, indeed, I certainly am a geek, and do not deny it, something like Talk Like A Pirate Day is, to me, pretty much indistinguishable from Talk Like A Klingon Day, and all of it pretty much boils down to Act Like A Retard Day (and, apparently, Teach Your Kids To Do It, Too).

Not that these guys need my approval, apparently they are brilliant genius writers with a best selling book, and I'm probably just jealous.

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