Up, up, and away!
This is an entry I'd planned to make, I don't know, two months ago, back when the HeroClix set Icons first came out. But I needed graphics, and we can only sporadically get access to the digital camera from SuperGirlfriend's office. A month or so ago I did take some pics with it, but they came out blurry. Finally, this morning, after much messing around with different backgrounds, SuperGirlfriend managed to get some very usable pics (I seem to have the negative attribute 'cannot take clear digital photographs', which would be bad news if I planned to go into the espionage or amateur porn line, so it's good that I don't), so, at long last, here's an entry virtually no one in the world will care about:
Above is the official WizKids graphic of the Icons Superman. It is, as so many things are with WizKids, a damnable filthy lie... they gave him that ridiculously long knee peg to make us think he'd look as if he were flying high again (as Superman should be). But, when we finally picked up our sets, here's what we actually got:
So what the hell is this? It's the Stealth Superman, that's what it is, zipping in at super speed under the radar to take out the military forces in Corto Maltese without anyone getting a decent look at him. Put him on a shelf surrounded by his fellow JLA members and he disappears into the crowd. Is that Superman? No, my friend, this is some bizarre deviant aberration Superman, no doubt written by Grant Morrison, a worthless wretched puling creature unworthy of the title Man of Steel, who whips around at invisible velocity levels so he can reach into his bright red shorts and pull his pud at will without anyone being the wiser.
No. No. It can not, it shall not, it MUST not be.
Fortunately, I am Hi G. Hlander, Super Genius, and I knew exactly how to deal with this travesty in plastic. One snip of my handy toe nail clippers against the base of that annoying knee peg, a slight repositioning of the figure on the stand, and, voila --
Now that's SUPERMAN.
I still can't understand why no one is paying me for this stuff.
P.S. I am aware that in the sentence No, my friend, this is some bizarre deviant aberration Superman, no doubt written by Grant Morrison, a worthless wretched puling creature unworthy of the title Man of Steel , there is a dangling something or other, which can cause a hasty reader to believe that I am referring to Grant Morrison as a worthless wretched puling creature unworthy of the title Man of Steel.
But, you know, I like that.