Wednesday, May 15, 2013

You may be entitled to a good smack in the noggin

Given the general level of subliteracy I listen to every day on the phones here, it shouldn't surprise me, but still did: in the break room just now, I saw a commercial for a law firm that concluded "You may be entitled to MONEY DAMAGES".


As if there are any other type of damage awards possible in our system of civil jurisprudence. As if you can sue someone, win your case, and get... I don't know... REAL ESTATE DAMAGES. Or HOUSE DAMAGES. Or EXPENSIVE SPORTS CAR DAMAGES. Or SEX DAMAGES.

MONEY DAMAGES. Jesus wept.

Look, I know what they're talking about. Just as I know what some derptard is trying to say when they insist that they have 'cut on' their computer and still can't get online. But this usage of words? It is WRONG. It is mind bogglingly stupid. And it aggravates the shit out of me.

And now, lawyers... LAWYERS!!!! WHO GO TO SCHOOL FOR LIKE A MILLION YEARS!!!!... are proving themselves incapable of utilizing the English language correctly.

Motherfucking money damages.

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