Friday, April 27, 2018

All The Young Dudes

You can get a fair overview of everything wrong with the Internet by reading reviews of INFINITY WAR:

"This was my biggest concern going in, because two hours and forty minutes is a very long amount of time for me not to check Twitter. At the screening, I didn’t have my phone (they took it) and I was wearing a broken watch (hipster affect)"

I just know that if I were to post a hundred word comment on anything this guy ever wrote, he'd either accuse me of bloviating or just toss off  a 'TLDR'.  "Hipster affect" my ass.  If he wears a watch that works, he might notice how short his attention span is.  Wouldn't want that.

"Granted, these movies are based on superhero comics, which do this sort of character development a lot, with characters baldly stating what they’re thinking or feeling because of the comparative struggle of comics to delve into their characters’ heads, lacking consistent devices for inner monologues (as a more traditional novel would have) or the benefit of an actor’s performance (as a movie or TV show would have)."

Please stop writing about things you don't know anything about.  PLEASE.  Comic books have one of the best devices for inner monologues ever invented -- the thought balloon.  Modern comics don't use it because modern comics suck, but  if this reviewer had ever read a GOOD comic, he'd know all about the thought balloon.  I mean, Jesus.

That said, I can’t say that any of the deaths were particularly moving. Loki’s early offing at least sets the stakes of Infinity War. I’d probably mourn Idris Elba’s character if I could remember his name.

Fuckstick.  If you can't remember Heimdall's name, stop writing about the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  Right NOW.

Scott: Co-sign!

I know it's hateful and wrong to use references to homosexuality in an insulting fashion.  I know this.  I know this.  I know this.  But.  Still.  Jesus Christ, dudes.


I used to post quite often to a Facebook page called GIN AND TACOS.  I like the writing of the pundit who owns and operates the page (Ed Burmila) and generally find I agree with his opinions.
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Mr. Burmila has a job as an assistant professor at some university in Indiana, I believe, and while he doesn't seem to enjoy his job much, he is indisputably more of a success at life so far than I am, as being an assistant professor while you're still in your 30s is way better by any standard (including mine) than being an IT help desk tech when you're in your 50s.  Mr. Burmila has also been achieving some moderate amounts of success placing political commentary articles with some decent markets lately.  In another ten years, he may be writing for Rolling Stone or Mother Jones as a celebrity columnist like Matt Taibbi or David Corn.  And I say, more power to him.

But here's the interesting thing that happens when I comment in Mr. Burmila's threads - people get mad at me.  They call me names.  And one word they use a lot is 'bloviating'.

blo·vi·ate ˈblōvēˌāt/ verb USinformal gerund or present participle:
talk at length, especially in an inflated or empty way.

What I find interesting about this is that Mr. Burmila is by no means short of textual wind in his own posts.  In fact, he frequently posts essays that run to thousands of words.  Nobody in the hundreds of comments he gets on each post accuses him of 'bloviating'. 

So what's the difference?  Why do my lengthy posts in Mr. Burmila's comment threads offend people, when Mr. Burmila's own lengthy posts do not?

It's not that I'm snarkier than Mr. Burmila -- Christ, if  you'd ever read anything he's posted, you'd know what a laugh that thought is. And as I've said, our opinions usually align, so it's not that, either.  And while I would never want to say that Mr. Burmila isn't a better writer than I am, I will say that if he is it's a matter of increments.  I'm a pretty good writer.  I have talent and I have skill and I have experience and I'm pretty funny.  Mr. Burmila is too, and, again, he might be more of those things than I am, but honestly, the people who are bitching at me over the length of my comments on his page simply don't strike me as being smart enough or analytical enough to make that kind of judgment call.  Well.  Not in any way that I'd call reliable. 

But  Mr. Burmila is the star of the show over there.  More importantly, Mr. Burmila is achieving some level of success.  And when a person is achieving some level of success in our culture, people tend to be attracted to that person.  They want things from that person, and because we tend to like people we want things from, many of the people who are attracted by Mr. Burmila's success, and want things from him, are trying to be his friend.  They hope he will like them, find them interesting, and then, he will do nice things for them.  Like, maybe, hook them up with an editor or an agent.  Or, whatever. 

I have to assume that the people who are so bitterly resentful of the length of my own comments find the demands posed on then by the length of Mr. Burmila's posts to be just as tedious.  But they suppress that with him.  I would also assume that they are probably just as threatened by Mr. Burmila's intelligence and lucidity as they clearly are by mine.  But, again, Mr. Burmila is more successful than I am and they want things from him.  So they're nice to him.  They do not perceive me as being successful at all, and therefore there is nothing I can do for them, so they don't want anything from me, and therefore, they can allow their annoyance and resentment do show much more fully.  The very length of my comments imposes stress on their microscopic media-child attention spans, my obvious intelligence and capacity for analytical thought also makes them feel rather dim in comparison, and since sucking up to me won't get them anything, well.  I'm bloviating, and Ed Burmila isn't doing any such thing.

I don't think I could ever handle even Mr. Burmila's level of success very well.  Because if I ever get to a point where I've got hundreds of strangers commenting on my views on the internet in a laudatory manner that nonetheless indicates they've never had an original thought in their lives, I'm probably going to find them tedious and say so.

Or maybe not.  After all, when you insult the people who are your potential readers, your sales are probably going to drop. 

I'm a poor businessman, I'm afraid. 

Thanks for reading me while I bloviate. 

Snark Like You Mean It 4/27/18 edition

* So many Trumps.  So little time.

Seriously.  I'm sure there have always been bullies in high office -- God knows enough of them gravitate to management positions at every place I've ever worked.  But Trump seems to just bring them out of the woordwork, and then, having done so, he likes to put them in his Cabinet, apparently.  Maybe he feels like bullying normal people is too easy; he wants to be some kind of apex bully -- the Bully Bullier, or something. 

*Times change.  Suddenly, what was once just a harmless attempt to use your power and influence over someone's career to coerce them into sleeping with you, turns into sexual harassment and exploitation.   What the hell is a poor downtrodden  Great White Shark to do?

*Democrats oh so grudgingly inch left on health care - clearly there are votes there, so okay, okay, let's at least talk about this shit. 

No real sign they're moving that way on financial reforms or Wall Street prosecution, though.   In fact, it looks like the DNCC is doing everything in its power to keep progressive candidates out of their primaries. 

The difference is, yeah, serious health care reform that benefits the poor will piss off the insurance lobby, but we've already pretty much written them off.  Pissing off the big money boys from Wall Street, though... none of Hillary's moderates want to do that.  Jesus Christ, they might have to shake a few hundred thousand peon hands to raise money instead!  Those people aren't sanitary!

He'd never ask for "a book's autograph", but he loves Trump because they share "dragon energy".  Is he high as a kite on goofballs or just really really stupid?