This 'lower your standards' advice is something you see a lot. It's generally sourced from attractive people at a homely friend. Often times, the homely friend is trying to date the attractive person, and the attractive person is all 'ewwww no I love you but not that way'. Because, you know. The friend is sweet and smart and funny and kind and decent and really nice and will pay attention to the attractive person whenever the attractive person doesn't have anything better to do but, um, go out with them? Uh, no, no, not while there are still attractive assholes in the world. No THANK you.
A lot of the really good looking people in the world seem to earnestly feel that all the homely fat uggoes should just pair off and leave them alone. I get this. I just have no respect for it. It's cruel and it's mean and it's selfish. We should try to be better than this.
Look, I understand that nobody can really control who they are or are not attracted to. You can't flip a switch. People feel how they feel. Human mating rituals are not logical, they are entirely predicated on feelings and hormones and reactions and responses that nobody has any kind of conscious control over.
But here's what we can control -- how we behave as a response to those emotions. And just as we homely uggoes (yes, I'm a homely uggoe, I'm just one who has been lucky enough to somehow win the love and passion of a smart funny competent beautiful woman) have a basic social responsibility to not be assholes over how other people feel about us (especially to not express ourselves with violence), so too do all the Lucky Ones out there have a responsibility to not be any meaner and crueler than they have to be.
You don't have to date anyone or sleep with anyone or touch anyone you don't want to.
But maybe you shouldn't try quite so hard to set your homely fat uggoe friends up with other homely fat uggo friends. Maybe you should stop thinking so much about what a relief it would be if your homely fat uggo friend got him or herself a homely fat uggo significant other.
Maybe you could even try appreciating someone for how they act instead of how they look.
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