Heads upProbably stupid, but you never know. I came across this in a comment thread at Rigorous Intution, so, you know, take it for what it's worth to you:
A @ 202 638-6600 (Washington, D.C.)
B @ 212 637-2200 (New York City, N.Y.)
A: Of course you never know what is serious, what can happen, what will happen and what is only wishful thinking. But there is enough there….
B: How much have you actually seen…or heard? I mean factually, not just latrine rumors.
A: Plenty. In a twisted way, it makes sense. I suppose it does. Anyway, I have nothing to do with it and just knowing about something in advance is not a crime, unless someone can find a paper or remember a conversation that is.
B: Before the fact.
A: Right. That’s why I say you and your family should leave your nice Big Apple place about the ninth of October and go visit your relatives in Arizona. Then you can watch it on CNN.
B: How long a vacation?
A: Why not a week either way?
B: And you? Any vacation for you? But you don’t have any kids or plants to take care of.
A: True but Georgetown is pretty safe. New York won’t be. God knows what kind of chemicals will be in the air and a good wind coming from Jersey could bring some nasty surprises. Isn’t it better to be safe than sorry?
B: Sure. But packing up means stories to everyone and I would have to be cool and collected about it. The kids would miss Halloween parties if I stay long enough and there is school to consider. I suppose I ought to call home and get them to invite me. I can’t just drop in on them.
A: No but try not to sound concerned. How long since you’ve seen them out there?
B: About a year, give or take. I’ll start on this right away. Will you be involved?
A: Shit no. I told you I want to know nothing about all of this and…
B: No, no, no….I mean will you have to go down there?
A: No. I’m not important enough. He might not even go. He will probably put Bush up to going to show the flag as he could say, while he does what he’s been doing for six years now and that’s running the country. No, he’ll stay right here and make sure he can keep his eyes and his hands on everything. I know he’s been writing speeches and policy statements on this because I’ve seen several when I have been filing.
B: Does he know you look at things?
A: Christ, I hope not. I just smile and look admiring and once in a while, I get a brief smile or a nod. He wants so much to be the real President but it will never happen. Too many people hate him. He’s not all that bad privately but officially, he’s a real Beria, if you know what I mean. Competent, very much so, and cold as ice. Jesus, he really does not like Bush at all. I have heard him say things about him…he thinks he’s a basket case. You know, it’s funny because when he put himself on the ticket, he had no idea Bush would be such an intransigent nut. But he’s been waiting for real power for years and now that he has it, he’s not going to blow it. I don’t know why he just doesn’t cash in his stock options when the term is over and retire and write books. He’s got a really bum ticker and he could go at any time.
B: Quadruple bypass, right?
A: Oh yes, and he takes more pills than a hippie.
B: Then why does he care?
A: His precious party might lose everything he has worked towards for so many years, that’s why. If they lose in November, don’t forget, there could be investigations and I can tell you what with the stock business and the hidden bank accounts, he’d spend his last years in a Federal jail somewhere.
B: They think they’ll never get caught…
A: Or die. Anyway, you know enough not to tell your wife or anyone else about this heads up, don’t you. Two ways to get secret information out. Telephone and tell a woman.
B: My wife isn’t that way at all but I take your drift. I say nothing. But won’t one of the perps get sloshed and tell some cunt about it? Or his priest?
A: Don’t worry about priests. They’re using Jews for this one, like the last time. I think it’s rabbis, not priests.
B: They were involved in 2001…
A: Yes and they passed it on, knowing nothing would be done. And no one is going to nail them on this one because they can snitch about the last one. Hell, they’ve been using that one for leverage for five years now. They’re smart assholes, I’ll give them that.
B: Why that target and not something like the Liberty Bell? Or they could blow up a plane with a lot of top Democrats on board, right?
A: If the refinery goes, you can see and hear it in your apartment. No damage to New York but plenty of dramatic fireworks. Keep the media busy for months. At least it will be better than the Aruba adventure. You have to keep the number of in-the-know people down to about three. The hebe guy running this operation is from DC originally and Interpol is after him for his operation down under. Linden is right on the water and it’s easy in and easy out…if they’re lucky. Oh, and here’s a nice touch. They want to leave a dead raghead behind, like some guard shot him. I mean someone they have in jail, over there, not here, with a long record of militant activity and I mean well-documented. And one of my man’s people will accidentally discover him nice and dead with all kinds of fake evidence in his pockets, for certain putting the blame on bin Laden. And that’s a joke because bin Laden has been dead since ’03.
B: Did we ice him somewhere?
A: No. Kidney failure in a paki hospital. He makes a good boogeyman. You know the drill: If you don’t vote for us, the rotten, weak faggot Democrats will take over and bin Laden will rejoice and kill all of you.
B: It has worked before as I remember. Red Alerts and duct tape.
A: And then we can have real Red Alert days, just before elections.
B: As usual. Not to change the subject but how do you think the immigration votes will go? My people live in Tucson and they are worried sick about all of the beaners shooting each other over drugs. What will happen?
A: What do you think? They supply our friendly agribusiness tycoons with slave labor so we make a lot of noise and do nothing.
A: He’s a nut. I guess being locked up in a zipperhead jail in solitary for five years snapped him.
Editor’s note: Bayway Refinery is a refining facility used by ConocoPhillips, located in Linden, New Jersey. This is the northernmost refinery on the East Coast of the United States. The oil refinery converts crude oil (supplied by tanker) into gasoline, diesel fuel, jet fuel, and heating oil. As of 2006, the facility processes approximately 238,000 barrels per day (BPD) of crude oil, producing 145,000 BPD of gasoline and 110,000 BPD of distillates. Its products are delivered to East Coast customers via pipeline transport, barges, railcars and tank trucks.
The facility also houses a petrochemical plant which produces lubricants and additives, a polypropylene plant which produces 775 million pounds per year, and has its own railway container terminal and heliport.
Linden is a City in Union County, New Jersey. Located southwest of Elizabeth, a few miles from New York Harbor. Together with Elizabeth, Linden is home to the Bayway Refinery, a ConocoPhillips refining facility that helps supply petroleum-based products to the New York/New Jersey area.
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My opinion? It strikes me as unlikely that something like this would leak beforehand, and we've seen quite a few similar things over the last few years that turned out to be false alarms. But, still. If it happens, at least, I'll know it isn't whatever the media is telling me it is... and so will you.